Episode 11: Final Fantasy X-2 Storyline Critique

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR FINAL FANTASY X-2!

Now, I've had this game for at least 4 or so years, but have almost never played it. Until about two week ago, when I woke up and said, "You know, it's about time I finish the FFX series. Starting today." And so began my epic, 100 hour long quest to finish Final Fantasy X-2. It was rather embarrasing to play, I must say.

Final Fantasy X-2 Storyline (9/10)

The storyline of this game starts out rather slow, in my ever so humble opinion. How does it start, you say? So, 2 years after the events of Final Fantasy X, the ever-so-annoying summoner and female protagonist, Yuna, has suddenly become a scantily-clad popstar singer. A very bad singer at that. I don't want to describe the terrors of the unskippable-pop-song-laden-introduction, so I'll just post a link to it instead.

Anywho, Yunie, Rikku, and some random Auron/Squall-esque newcomer known as Paine, are spherehunters. And what do spherehunters do for a living? Why, they spend their time hunting for records of Spira, the planet's, past, through the collecting of spheres, which are pretty much disposable video cameras. Now, this doesn't sound like it'll make for a very good storyline, right? Wrong! It, rather surprisingly, I might add, does get really good...

So, Rikku delivers to Yunie, of whom is in Besaid, a sphere containing a recording of someone who looks akin to Tidus from FFX. This is what makes her a spherehunter to begin with. Then, she goes of and finds another sphere containing a recording of some massive robot named Vegnagun, which resides under the once-religious capital of Spira, Bevelle. Yuna is like, "OMG VEGNAGUN IS EVIL AND TIDUS MIGHT BE NEAR IT LETZ GO DESTROY IT BEFORE IT SHOOTS SPIRA WITH A GIANT CANNONY THINGY IN IT'S MOUTH!!!" So, Yunie, Rikku, and Paine go off to the underground catacombs that just happen to be under Bevelle, and they don't find Vegnagun, but they do find Dark Bahamut (say... didn't they kill DB in FFX International... twice?!), of whom is oddly pissed off and attacks the party, of whom owns him. Severly.

So, now some pointless boring crap happens, and they find out that the guy that looks like Tidus in the sphere is really some dude that just happens to look exactly like Tidus and just happens to used to live in the same place as him 2000 years ago. And, he gets control of Vegnagun, and, being very bitter about the old Bevelle troops that shot his girlfriend down (of whom looks almost the same as Yuna when she's in her popstar outfit, which means she also looks like a prostitute, which I guess was common bussiness 2000 years ago in Zanarkand), and decides to release his anger by shooting down all of Spira with Vegnagun. Now, doesn't that just seem like a really stupid idea? Bah, whatever, evil guys never know the consequences of doing evil things until it is too late.

Yunie is all like, "OMG TIDUS CLONE AKA SHUYIN IS GOIN TO OWNZORZ SPIRA WITH MASSIVE VEGAN GUN LETZ GO LIEK OWN HIM AND STUFFS WITH OUR VARYING OUTFITS THAT GIVE US SUPERPOWERZ!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11ONEONE!!!!1111" Rikku is like, "YEAHHHHH!!!!!", and Paine's like, "Whatever..."


So, you descend into the afterlife of Spira, which, somehow, Shuyin has managed to get Vegnagun. Once you arrive, Yunie gets this crazy idea, using love to seduce Shuyin into thinking that he's your boyfriend, then going in for the kill. The party goes off and battles Vegnagun in a 4 part battle which are all incredibly easy.


Then, after owning Vegnagun, Shuyin comes out, and is seduced by Yunie. Then he's like, "YOU ARE NOT LENNNEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!", freaks out, whips out a sword, and attacks the party. Then is pwned in, about... 3 hits.

Somehow, Lenne walks out of Yunie after the battle, obviously suggesting that Lenne was possessing Yunie throughout the entire game (in my opinion, not really canon, but whatever) and struts over the Shuyin and is like, "OMG SHUYIN I LOVE YOU THANKS YUNIE!!!! LOLOLLLLOLOL!", then both Shuyin and Lenne disappear. Yunie ends up seeing Tidus again, as portrayed in this cutscene. I don't really feel like describing their reunion, so click this link and watch the dang video. Just skip to the 3 minute and 30 second mark and you'll get past the credits.

Overall, I thought the storyline was really cheesy, but the whole thing with the Dark Aeons returning made me give it a 9 out of 10 instead of a 7 out of 10. I liked the story, but the overly-feministic values annoyed the hell out of me. >_<

Episode 10: Petty Arguements

I'm now declaring that I'm writing this blog as though none of family, including my mum, is reading this. Just a warning, though - not much is going to change. Figured I should say that, however.

I absolutely love it when my mum and Dana, my quasi-stepfather, argue. Now, most people would say, "Why Seth, that's a horrible thing to say!", but, in all truth, you just have to be here to know how funny the stuff they argue about is!

Sometimes they argue about cleaning up the back porch. Here's some dialogue for you!

[Dana] *hastily cleaning the kitchen with spazmotic movements as far as the eye can see*
[Mum] Can you please clean when I'm done eating - your stressing me out.
[Dana] If I don't do it now, it won't be done later.
[Mum] I'll do it later.
[Dana] You're not GOING to do it later.
[Mum] Just stop cleaning.
[Dana] HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A WOMAN THAT ASKS A MAN TO STOP CLEANING?
[Mum] HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A MAN THAT QUESTIONS A WOMAN WHEN HE'S ASKED TO STOP CLEANING?

The altercation goes on for a little bit, with mindless rambling, until they both finally stop. I'm just sitting in front of the computer of which is oddly located in the living room at the moment, reading n00bs talk about how they can't seem to get the Zodiac Spear, and laughing away, at both the n00b's stupidity and the humourous conflict.

~~~~~~~

Hey Sanjuro, if you are still reading this blog, click here! I lied, he's not really a gay samurai!

You all stay classy! I have nothing else to say - goodbye world!

Episode 9: Just Wrong...

So, I'm sitting in front of the computer, playing some Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions on my PSP, listening to the .hack//SIGN soundtrack. Then, suddenly, I get an IM from a friend, of whom will be called Aerith as to protect her identity.

[Aerith] hey...
[Kait] Hey, what's up?
[Aerith] guess what
[Aerith] ciara died
[Kait] *chokes on ice cube in his cup of water* Say what?!
[Kait] You are a lier! I don't believe you!
[Aerith] ive been sobbing for the past couple of hours
[Kait] Oh...
[Kait] Wait, seriously?!

I then call Aerith, of whom genuinely sounds upset. I'm slightly convinced, but don't forget that I have a Gullibility stat of 7, or I'm not that convinced.

[Kait] Proof please.
[Aerith] C:\Documents and Settings\aerith\My Documents\My Pictures\scarrrry video! 008.jpg
[Aerith] copy and paste it in the ionternet

Now this part makes me laugh hard when I look back at it.
First of all, who the heck saves a 'scarrrry video' as a jpeg?!
Second of all, how the hell am I supposed to see something saved on your computer on the internet - it's not like it's on a personal server, noob.
Lastly, I love how Aerith mispells 'internet'. I always though she knew better...

[Kait] Er... how am I supposed to access this stuff?
[Aerith] nevermind
[Kait] My god, I feel like such an a--hole - and to think the last thing I said to her is "What color is my shirt"
[Kait] XD
[Kait] So... how am I supposed to see these pictures.
[Kait] You could email them to me.
[Kait] caitsithiii@gmail.com

I wait 3 minutes. No response. I run downstairs to the kitchen and grab a can of Healing Potion, then take a swig of it - I forgot to restore my health earlier after a minor injury from football. I then dash back to the computer, and...

[Aerith] http://i36.tinypic.com/4ru8o3.jpg
[Aerith] don't click that
[Kait] ...
[Kait] ...er, what?
[Aerith] never mind just forget i said anything
[Aerith] okay?
[Kait] Was that?
[Aerith] just...you can't tell anyone
[Kait] I truly can't believe that.
[Aerith] her family is....just you can
[Aerith] cant
[Kait] Alrighty.

This also cracks me up. Who the hell takes a picture of their dead friend?! WTF?! And, she couldn't have made it any more obvious that the so-called 'blood' was actually ketchup. And the way she talks in the IM - my god, just spit it out already! This isn't Final Fantasy, you don't need to be so secretive! >_<

[Aerith] so..
[Aerith] just don't tell teachers or anything in school
[Kait] So...
[Aerith] nobody ohkay?
[Aerith] keep quiet
[Kait] Sure thing.
[Aerith] her family doesn't want to makwe it a big deal
[Kait] Nothing will ever be mentioned about it.
[Kait] And big deal?
[Aerith] ohkay
[Kait] It will show up in the d--m newspaper!
[Kait] And why'd you tell me, of all people, this?
[Aerith] she was murdered in our neighbors yard are you kidding me
[Aerith] because i just needed to tell someone
[Kait] ...
[Kait] Oh.
[Kait] I see...
[Aerith] it wont be in the papers...her mom didn't want it
[Aerith] the cops were told not to tell pplz
[Kait] Alrighty.

Wow. Just wow. It would have shown up in the newspaper, for god's sake! It might not have mentioned name - but the public needs to be informed somehow! Their could be a serial killer roaming around somewhere!

Anyway... the conversation goes on for 30 minutes, with me questioning all the way and having no plot advancement whatsoever.

I then get a phone call... I answer the phone.

[Kait] Aloha.
[Aerith] Guess what?!
[Kait] What now?
[Aerith] I lied - it's a Halloween joke.
[Kait] Wow.
[Aerith] Did you believe me?
[Kait] Only a bit - that was very unrealistic. You fail.
[Aerith] Bye.
[Kait] Wait, what? Don't go ye-

She hangs up. I put away my phone, somewhat amused. I walk down to the kitchen and grab another can of Healing Potion. I didn't really need it - but I was quite thirsty.

Episode 8: Stickfigure Rising

During 'Bring Joor Child To Work Day' at my mum's job, I drew a crapload of video-game inspired pictures. This is one of them, based off of one of the best games for the X-Box 360, Dead Rising. I deserve a reward for my massive drawing skills.

Chapter 7: Foreign Rap

French rap is awesome. Now, why would I, Kait Sith, post something as petty as french rap, you say? Because I have nothing interesting to say at the moment.

Under normal circumstances, I hate rap with a passion, but this stuff is just soooo funny sounding, that you can't help but like it!

Oh yeah, japanese rap rocks too. Make sure you watch everything past 1:35 on that video, because the rest of the people have really funny voices and dance humourously! *laughs out loud hysterically*

~~~~~~~

Sanjuro, for some odd reason, during Earth Science class, told me that carbon dioxide is the fuel of the future.

Now, that seems like a somewhat good idea, seeing as how using pollutants as fuel is a very unique and ambitious idea, but what would come out as the waste product? More CO2? Seems like a waste of time, if you ask me, but he ignored what I had to say about it. Oh well, better luck next time...

Chapter 6: Football?

Physical education. Oh how I hate the class - especially when we play that dreaded game of football. Ugh - I hate that game.

So, when we first enter the gym, we get changed and run 3 laps. Then we do 30 jumping jacks, 20 crunches, 20 mountain climbers (where you get down on all fours and run in place... right...), and, finally, 10 push-ups. I usually only make it to 3 push ups, do to how much of a pansy I am.

After that, we got a rundown on football terminology. Quarterback? Frontline? Guard? Touchdown? Bloody hell - the coach overloaded me with so much information on football that I can hardly remember a word that she said! Gah!

Then we went outside and learned how to throw a football. I think I might have been the only person that really didn't know how to do this... shame how when I threw the ball incorrectly, the ball actually got to my partner. Barely.

I figured, for comedic effects, I would show my noobishness in sports by shouting a nice, loud, 'FFFFOOOORRRREEEE!!!!' Unfortunately, I did not get a chuckle out of anyone. Usually I do... while, not at this school anyway - those preppy kids just don't understand my silly humour. Sigh.

~~~~~~~

Studio Art is ridiculous. Really, now, when in my life am I going to need to know how to draw a hand or vase or wine bottle that is realistically shaded?! That's just ludicrous! I can just imagine a situation now...

NOTE : THIS IS NOT A REAL STORY. I'M JUST MAKING THIS CRAP UP!

I'm standing in the streets of NYC, minding my own business, when, suddenly, a cultist jumps out and pulls me into a nearby alleyway. He pins me to the ground.

[Cultist] Don't say a word. Cooperate.

[Kait Sith] *gagged*

This cultist drags me down the alley for a couple minutes, until we come to a stop in front of a door with a large orange hand painted on it, with the words 'Rebirth' emblazoned underneath it. He kicks open the door and throws me in. I stand up, and notice a large amount of people in black trench-coats surrounding me. A guy in a red trench-coat, holding a giant paintbrush, walks up to me.

[Kait Sith] *thinking to himself* He must be the leader of this cult...

[Cultist Leader] Rise, thou mortal.

I stand up, unaware of what fiendish things they'll do to me.

The Cultist Leader pulls a pad of paper and a set of sketching pencils out of his trench-coat, and hands them to me.

[Cultist Leader] Draw us a human hand holding a pencil, realistically shaded, and we will spare your life.

[Kait Sith] *gasp* I wish I paid attention during Studio Art!

[Cultist Leader] Tisk tisk tisk. Off with his head!

NOTE: THE STORY IS NOW OVER!

Now, think about that for a moment. Will any of that ever really happen? Probably not, just proving my point that Art class just isn't helpful. But, better safe then sorry, I guess...

Chapter 5: Surprise Visit

I'm just sitting around in my room, playing some .hack, when I suddenly feel the urge to get a soda. I drop my controller, jump up, and run downstairs. What is down there, now that will blow my mind.

Somehow, an extra family and a half had found themselves at my house! Now, I was rather surprised to see them, but didn't want to stay downstairs, as I was in the middle of a boss battle, but I hung out with the group of people anyway, just because I'm that kind of guy.

One of the family members, of whom I'll refer to as Auron, has a MySpace. Oh god, I hate MySpace. The only reason I have a MySpace is to keep someone happy! And what is up with the spelling of MySpace!? It's just so tedious to type out! I hate having to hold down the shift key every few seconds!

Whoops, sorry, I went off into a rant. Anywho, Auron wanted showed me his MySpace, (I hate that word!) and I tried to explain to him how to search for him on this abysmal website, but, unfortunately, he did not understand. So he had to sign out of my profile, log in to his, and then search for my name and send me a friend request. Wow. Just wow. You really couldn't have just done that on my profile, could you? Grr...

So, after sending me a friend request, he tries to show me his just horridly designed MySpace. Really, now, no offense, but if you can't design a MySpace (like me) don't fill it with dark colors and incredibly bright, clashing colors please. It hurts everyones eyes, and does not show off your 'mad designing skills.'

Anyway, I end up booting him off of the computer shortly there after, and log into my account. I start sending my friends some messages. Commentary followed afterwards, and not the kind I like.

[Kait Sith] *typing away on the computer*

[Auron] Is that your girlfriend?

[Kait Sith] *still typing* No.

[Auron] Who is she then?

[Kait Sith] *typing still* A friend from Woodstock.

[Auron] You like her!

[Kait Sith] *now blatantly ignoring him* No.

A silence then falls over the room. Then, another family member, of whom will be called Mistral, walks over to me. Another one-sided conversation begins.

[Kait Sith] *hastily typing away*

[Mistral] Is that your girlfriend?

[Kait Sith] *typing!* No.

[Mistral] Who is it then?

[Kait Sith] *typing some more* A friend.

Thankfully, Mistral soon got bored and walked away. I say, are they are hoping that I get a girlfriend or something similar to that? Are they just betting quids on whether or not a ever get one? Woohoo, I'm a new form of gambling!

Soon after, the family left, and I got back to my boss battle. Woohoo. Oh yeah, and I won by the way.

~~~~~~~

Flag Races on .hack//MUTATION. I hate them. They are so hard - I just can't stand them! I spend so much time raising all three types of Grunties on the Llamda Server, only to find out that MY GRUNTIES SUCK! They all have horrid handling and acceleration! The highest I ever got on the rankings is 3rd place, which by no means gets me any stat-increasing items! Not at all. I rest my case.

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If some fonts appear too small on this website, then you are using Firefox, and not Safari. I'm not fixing the problem, because, really, the small fonts just compose humourous, non-essential material.